Blog 155: Fish Spines

“I am so damn angry with myself, this should NEVER have happened.”

I spent a day late last year travelling to, waiting around in, and coming back home from a small hospital in East Auckland for the removal of a fish spine in my finger. 

I took my son, my brother-in-law, and my nephew out on a charter out of Whangerei for ‘our birthdays’ in early November. The skipper knew what he was up to and the quota was met in a few hours. 

I got home and finished off most of the filletting before some other demand came up. I left a couple of fish on ice and came back to them later on. 

I was in a bit of a rush, and I was feeling a bit tired. It was bordering on dark.

In my rush to scale a larger fish, I ended up puncturing my finger with a fish spine. I was pretty sure the spine had broken off in there, but ever optimistic, was hoping that it wasn’t the case. 

The next couple of weeks passed fairly uneventfully. The spine didn’t get infected. But the area wasn’t really healing fully. When I pressed on it I thought I could feel something in there, but I wasn’t sure. 

The end of the year was looming, and I know (from past lessons) that it is best not to have anything requiring medical assistance over the holiday period, if you can help it. With a few weeks until Christmas I swung into action. 

First an ultrasound. As you can see from the below picture, yes… there was a spine in my finger (to the delight of the radiologist!). The GP was not interested. A hand specialist was needed. 

Next… Get it removed. This was a challenge. Most specialists were happy to see me for an initial consultation at the end of January (around now). I imagined what could happen in over a month should something like an infection come up. 

This would not do. After much hunting around and mucking about I found a surgeon who would see me, and could squeeze me in for a surgery in the next week. 

Success. 

But I was really angry with myself. I went back up the chain of events and landed on the moment the fish spine entered my finger. 

“What an idiot. 

Look at what you have done.

Should have been more careful.

Should have taken your time.”

I vented my self-frustration to my wife, who promptly told me off. 

I am sure that you can see where this is going. Our culture and the way our language is set up put blame for accidents firmly on individuals. 

“I got a fish spine stuck in my finger.”

There are some cultures and languages (and generous spirited people even) who frame these accidents a little differently. 

‘A fish spine got stuck in my finger’ directs that blame away. It is a little gentler. A little kinder. 

If you are on the path of self-flaggation just now, please take a moment to rephrase some of your self-talk. Shit happens sometimes, and blaming ourselves for it is unhelpful. 

You are better served to preserve your self-esteem and your energy by setting it right rather than beating yourself up. 

And if you happen to be out fishing this long weekend, take care and watch out for fish spines!