Saying it as you see it

I think I have mentioned that I have been listening to the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson. 

I was struck by the accounts of the drama that seemed to be the norm in Silicon Valley. In the board rooms, in the media, and in the day to day running of things. 

A lot of this was going on between the late 80’s and early 2000’s – business had a different vibe over this period and screaming and crying and tantrums seemed to be acceptable in some spheres. Furthermore, Steve Jobs was known as one of the most difficult people to work with. Very few people could manage him well and he even is quoted on numerous occasions to label himself as an ‘asshole’. He would just ‘say it as he saw it’.

One of the learnings that I pulled out of this tale was just how conflict avoidant I am. While I would never want to behave like Steve, I could do with a bit more directness. 

Numerous people have told me the same. Coaches and leaders have told me the same. My strengths include kindness, reasonableness, and the ability to calmly mediate situations. However, I often take the middle path for too long, and don’t execute tough decisions quickly enough. 

Why am I telling you all of this? 

We need to be aware of our weaknesses. Our blind spots. I found a lesson here that I was not expecting to find. I allowed the little piece of self awareness to settle into my mind.

I think that while we can learn HOW to do things from a book or a speaker or a coach, unless our mind is open to the fact that we are closed off to a different way of thinking and operating the lessons won’t sink in. 

As I listened to the conflicts and tears and ways that Silicon Valley leaders conducted themselves, my resistance to being a little more direct, to push a little earlier, was being eroded. That is a positive thing. 

Being reminded that we can’t please all the people, all of the time, is a reality I need to be reminded of.

Take the compliments when they come and focus on your strengths. But be open to a different approach. One thing’s for sure: there is more than one way to solve a problem and get a result. Believing that ‘my way is the right way, and the only way’ is a sure way to miss out on opportunities to grow and improve and get the results that we are trying to achieve.